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You ever just watch a drama that moves you and drives you insane? That’s literally how I feel about ‘My Dearest’ right now. I had to do a separate post for this drama instead of combining it with the other ones that I’m currently watching because I have way too many thoughts about this show and if I kept it with the other dramas, the post would have been way way too long.

The two latest episodes for ‘My Dearest’ probably had to be my favorite just yet. There was progress in nearly every aspect and component, including the romance between Gil-chae and Jang-hyun as well as the growth of our characters. There was also progress on the “war” front between Joseon and the Qing soldiers and we watched as the “war” ended with Joseon giving in to Khan and his army of soldiers. Episodes 7 and 8 were so well done, so well-written, shot so beautifully, and hit most of the right points.

In episode 7, we watched as the “war” was declared over and our characters returned to their hometown only to witness the destruction that was left behind. Lives were lost, their belongings were taken away, and their village was unrecognizable. But Gil-chae and her friends received the opportunity to move to Hanyang thanks to Yeon-jun who was rewarded with a position in the Royal Palace after his loyalty to the King. So our group of characters were reunited once again which meant Jang-hyun and Gil-chae also reunited again. There was a scene in particular in episode 7 where Gil-chae revisited certain locations where she created meaningful experiences and memories with her friends and she was reminded of all the good times that they had in these places. It was so bittersweet to watch her walk down memory lane and recall these memories. But at the same time, it was heartbreaking in that it served as a reminder that things had changed and that their situation was now vastly different and that in a way, things would never be the same again. Things would never go back to the way that it once was prior to the invasion and this was something that Gil-chae had to come to terms with.

Perhaps one of my favorite things about episodes 7 and 8 was Gil-chae’s character growth. We had been watching her grow up right before our eyes, especially during all the life-or-death situations that she and her group of friends were confronted with as they were on the run for their lives. She had to step up and save them, she had to learn to hide her feelings of fear or panic, she had to be strong for them, and she had to lead them to safety. So in a sense, Gil-chae had already been growing and developing right in front of our eyes. But with the last two episodes, there was even further growth from her, especially in the romance department. She came to accept the fact that the man she had unrequited feelings for, Yeon-jun, didn’t feel the same way about her and instead, had feelings for her best friend, Eun-Ae. The way Gil-chae just seemed so at peace with it and felt sincere about Eun-Ae and Yeon-jun’s marriage warmed my heart. Maybe Gil-chae wasn’t as heartbroken because she knew there was nothing she could do to change Yeon-jun’s heart as it was clear he was committed to Eun-Ae. But maybe it was also easier for her to let go of Yeon-jun because of her feelings for Jang-hyun. Gil-chae’s feelings and affection for Jang-hyun was tested at the end of episode 8 and we got to see how Gil-chae truly felt about Jang-hyun.

I’ve seen quite a few dramas with good endings, but I think I have to rank the ending to episodes 7 and 8 up there in terms of best endings to an episode. The ending for episode 7 was truly so magical, so charming, so overwhelming, and so impactful all at the same time and it truly moved me. We got our first kiss between Jang-hyun and Gil-chae that came at a time where they both confirmed their feelings about each other. Jang-hyun clearly has feelings for Gil-chae and even though she perceives him to be a player who’s dated many women or isn’t serious about relationships, he feels strongly about her. He even was willing to change his stance and views on marriage just for her. Similarly, I can also understand why Gil-chae is hesitant about developing and expressing feelings for Jang-hyun. She assumes he’s had many women, he doesn’t believe in marriage, and he seems to like to play around a lot. Plus, at that time, she had unrequited feelings towards Yeon-jun who seemed devoted to Eun-Ae but also may have had feelings for her. So I can see why Gil-chae was confused on how to act or feel towards Jang-hyun.

And that’s why that kiss at the end of episode 7 was so good and necessary. It was Jang-hyun’s way of declaring his affection for Gil-chae while it was Gil-chae’s way of learning and knowing that Jang-hyun was serious about her. Sure, he liked to tease her a lot and could be a bit unserious at times. But he’s never felt this way towards anyone else ever and he truly is fascinated and enamored with Gil-chae. So while the kiss was great, it was actually the comments that Jang-hyun voiced afterwards that stole the moment and show for me. He was well aware that Gil-chae may still have feelings for Yeon-jun and that she may not be quite ready to hand her heart over to him, but he hoped that she would one day look at him and never forget this intimate moment that they shared. And it was a combination of the beautiful OST playing in the background (which I swear I’ve listened to about 100 times before and after its release), the stunning cinematography of the two leads sitting in the fields, the acting of our two actors, and the direct but genuine and honest conversation that had me feeling so many different types of ways. The ending was so calm and sweet and beautiful and alluring and it made me want to cry tears of joy. It was also a bit bittersweet – Jang-hyun feeling a bit defeated that Gil-chae may not feel the same way about him as he did towards her but also being hopeful that there could be something more in the future.

Then there was episode 8 which provided us with a few more telling moments between Gil-chae and Jang-hyun. The two weren’t on the same page just yet even though they had a few moments where their relationship was tested. They survived the “war” while worrying about each other but they still found themselves in this push-and-pull dynamic. Gil-chae doesn’t seem to trust Jang-hyun while Jang-hyun is trying his best to show his sincerity towards Gil-chae. He’s made it clear to her that he likes her, that he’ll wait for her, that he wants to be with her, and that he’ll change his stance on marriage if it’s with her. Then there was the ending to episode 8 that was a pivotal moment in their relationship where Gil-chae realized just how much she liked Jang-hyun and how much he meant to her. Feelings that she had been in denial of or may have been suppressing came to light and she realized that Jang-hyun was the one who she liked. The man in her repetitive dream that she had been having this entire time was him. She cried in her dream when she saw him because she assumed he had died. She held onto his jacket tightly as she slept. She cried out his name and pleaded for him to return with the assumption that he was gone. Gil-chae’s love for Jang-hyun was tested and I can’t wait to see the two together again. We all know Jang-hyun isn’t dead so hopefully their reunion will prompt Gil-chae to take that next step in reciprocating those feelings for Jang-hyun that she’s had for a while now and allow her to be brave in expressing her love for him. Gil-chae may have been shy in the past and she may have rejected his advances or been in denial of her feelings for him but we all saw how she truly felt about him. It’s Jang-hyun who she wants. As the saying goes, you never know what you have until it’s gone.

The amazing thing about Jang-hyun and Gil-chae’s relationship is that I don’t get frustrated watching them bicker or fight or engage in this push-and-pull dynamic. The drama does such a wonderful job at showcasing Jang-hyun and Gil-chae’s feelings and also focusing on their relationship as a whole at the same time. So when I see that they’re not quite on the same page or I see that they take one step forward only to take two steps back in their relationship, I don’t get frustrated. And it’s because the drama takes us through Jang-hyun’s perspective and also does the same with Gil-chae’s point of view so I watch them go through the ups and downs in their relationship without feeling frustrated or wanting them to give it all up. Sure, I would love to see the two talk things out and communicate on how they truly feel. But I also understand why there was hesitation on Gil-chae’s end and also why Jang-hyun remained steady in his affection for Gil-chae.

Another one of my favorite moments between them was in episode 8 when Gil-chae commented that she couldn’t give up on Yeon-jun so easily. Jang-hyun was heartbroken and frustrated at her response but he didn’t lash out at her or feel entitled to her love. Even though he didn’t feel all that great as it seemed like he was trying her best to show his sincerity towards her, he gently cupped her face in his hands and asked what he was lacking in comparison to Yeon-jun. What did Yeon-jun have that he didn’t? And this is the side of Jang-hyun that you just love to see. He’s patient with Gil-chae, he understands her complicated situation with Yeon-jun, and he’s loyal to her. Sure, he didn’t feel all that great that Gil-chae was still in love with Yeon-jun but I loved that his reaction was gentle and calm. Even after all his efforts, even after all his words, even after all his actions and gestures this whole time, he didn’t get angry with her response and instead, reacted in a way where he was careful and gentle with her. He softly held her face in his hands and questioned what he lacked in comparison to Yeon-jun. He wanted to know what he could do to gain Gil-chae’s trust and earn her love. With tears in his eyes, he acknowledged how cruel Gil-chae was to him but at no point did that mean that he would give up on her. For a few seconds, he let down his walls and showed his vulnerability to her. Gaaaah, this scene was so good and said a lot about Jang-hyun’s feelings for Gil-chae.

So as you could tell, ‘My Dearest’ did many great things in this week’s episodes and turned out to be two much stronger episodes compared to the previous ones. There were a few times while watching episodes 7 and 8 where I wanted to cry and just kept on repeating to myself how good the drama was. ‘My Dearest’ remains its strongest in the romance department with Gil-chae and Jang-hyun and I enjoy watching the two bicker but also care about each other in their own ways. Hopefully things will change for the better in their relationship the next time they meet and see each other again.