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Ram-woo pushes Hee-wan to go out of her comfort zone and do something that she avoided doing the last few years: talk about what happened to him. And even though it’s something that she initially is reluctant and hesitant to do, she discovers that maybe it isn’t so bad after all. In a way, it was very much what she needed to do to receive some closure.

Way Back Love: Episode 4 Recap

Hee-wan and Ram-woo cry their hearts out to each other while at the school festival. Hee-wan hates it when he refers to her by his name because it only reminds her of the tragic day that he died. Memories of her in a crowd being held back by police officers at the site of the incident flashes in her mind. She still feels guilty for her involvement in his death. Hee-wan stops by her dad’s restaurant to catch up with him. While there, she sees her younger sister Hee-joo who enters the restaurant. Hee-wan grows upset upon learning that her sister’s made some travel plans with her friends. She wants Hee-joo to cancel the plans but Hee-joo rejects the idea. If Hee-wan’s worried for her safety, Hee-joo argues that she can get hurt anytime. Plus, she’s not going to just sit in her room all depressed and stare at the ceiling all day like Hee-wan does. Oh nooo.

Just like Hee-wan did for Ram-woo back in high school, Ram-woo cheers Hee-wan up in the present by inviting her to join him on an adventure. So where exactly are they going? High school Hee-wan takes high school Ram-woo to a hidden room that only she and Tae-kyung knows about. There, they share intimate stories about their parents to each other. Ram-woo’s dad’s new wife often comes to his place to give him and his mom money and he can’t help but be curious about his dad’s whereabouts. Meanwhile, Hee-wan shares her complex feelings and thoughts about her mom’s death. She was only 4 years old when her mom died so she doesn’t remember much about her and isn’t sure whether she actually misses her mom or whether it’s because she feels obligated to do so. Eventually, the two go on to have some fun by painting on one of the walls in the room. Just then, Tae-kyung enters the room and she’s not so happy to see Hee-wan let Ram-woo in on their little secret about the room. Hee-wan also makes some excuses as to why she can’t join Tae-kyung for their weekend plans so the two friends get into a fight. In the present, Hee-wan and Ram-woo enter the secret room again and it’s just like old times. Except this time, it’s not Tae-kyung entering the room but rather the security guard for the high school. Hee-wan frantically hides behind a couple of desks in the back of the room and it doesn’t help that Ram-woo is in his own little world trying to get in contact with Hong-seok. Though Hee-wan still has Hong-seok’s number in her phone, she hasn’t talked to him (or Tae-kyung) since graduating high school. Hee-wan agrees to meet up with Ram-woo’s high school bestie in exchange for helping her get out of the locked secret room. Haha.

High school Ram-woo and Hong-seok come up with an idea to get Tae-kyung and Hee-wan to make up. After some creative persuasion, the four head out together on a trip to visit a popular bakery that’s closing down soon. While hanging out, Hong-seok notices Ram-woo taking care of Hee-wan but he doesn’t think too much about it. When they arrive at the bakery, there’s a long line outside and Hee-wan and Tae-kyung don’t trust the boys to get their orders right so they volunteer to stay in line instead. With that, Ram-woo and Hong-seok walk away to get some alone time. Ram-woo notices a poster for an event about a meteor shower festival and he’s reminded of how he wanted to see a shooting star with Hee-wan. So he notifies his mom via phone that he won’t be able to make it to the opening party for her new art gallery. But Hee-wan’s dad, who’s also there with Ram-woo’s mom, reassures him that it’s okay. They can celebrate together next time.

So the group heads to the meteor shower festival event together and have some fun visiting a bunch of different booths. There’s one booth that stands out in particular to Hee-wan where you can enter a drawing to get a chance to visit the observatory. For Ram-woo, he joins the booth that allows you to write a message to yourself on a postcard and receive the postcard during the next meteor shower. Ram-woo decides that he’ll write a letter for his bestie Hong-seok since he knows Hong-seok hasn’t been on good terms with his mom. But there’s something else that Hong-seok is more focused on – he wants to hear the truth from Ram-woo about Hee-wan. So Ram-woo admits that he does indeed like Hee-wan and vice versa. Hong-seok already had a feeling about the two of them the moment he got rejected by Hee-wan. On their trip, he noticed that she would always look at Ram-woo and he would always look at her. It was pretty obvious that Hee-wan and Ram-woo liked each other.

Back in the present, Hee-wan and Ram-woo stop by Hong-seok’s workplace to visit him. He’s now a swimming teacher and the trio meet inside of his office. But things are clearly awkward between Hee-wan and Hong-seok. Ram-woo doesn’t help when he asks Hee-wan to ask a bunch of silly questions to Hong-seok. So Hong-seok requests that they stop meeting. He’s not comfortable with her there. With that, Hee-wan leaves Hong-seok’s office and Ram-woo follows after her. She’s not interested in talking to Hong-seok and Ram-woo can do it himself since Hong-seok was his friend. But just then, Hong-seok comes back out to ask Hee-wan about the board game in his room. Was it her who touched his board game? He then connects the dots and realizes that she must have been visiting him to talk about Ram-woo. And right at that moment, the sound of an ambulance siren causes Hee-wan to suffer a panic attack and Hong-seok thankfully is there to support her. This prompts the two to go on a walk together to share their emotions and thoughts about Ram-woo’s death. Hee-wan was envious of Hong-seok because he and everyone else seemed like they were okay and as if they moved on quickly while Hee-wan felt as if she was left behind. She wasn’t okay. She’s still not okay. She still can’t accept that Ram-woo is dead. But Hong-seok defends himself. She’s not the only one who suffered. He too was traumatized and devastated over Ram-woo’s death and was clearly affected by it. There’s nothing to be envious about. He too was there at the time of Ram-woo’s death.

So we return to the night of the meteor shower event. Hee-wan, Ram-woo, Tae-kyung, and Hong-seok all sit together at the campsite while looking up at the night sky. Hee-wan steps aside to answer a phone call and it’s one of the staff members from the observatory drawing who called Hee-wan to let her know that she had been chosen. When she entered the drawing, she originally was going to write down Ram-woo’s name but she switched it at the last second and wrote down her name instead. So Hee-wan encourages Ram-woo to go to the observatory to catch a shooting star since he’s never seen one before. She’s already seen one and plus, she’s quite happy with her life right now. She’s gotten into her dream college, she made up with Tae-kyung, and she’s on a trip with her favorite people. Ram-woo should have the chance to experience some happiness as well. Though Ram-woo proposes that they go together because there’s something he wants to tell her, Hee-wan declines the invitation. She hands him a love letter and insists that he read her letter later at the observatory. And before bidding farewell, Ram-woo happily calls out to Hee-wan by referring to her as his name and saying,

“Switching names with you was so troublesome, but it was the funnest thing I did in high school.”

It’s clear that Ram-woo had no regrets about switching names with Hee-wan and even enjoyed it. When Ram-woo checks into the observatory, he tells the staff that his name is Hee-wan and they let him into the observatory. Once there, he takes out Hee-wan’s love letter and reads it. Hee-wan herself reunites with Hong-seok and Tae-kyung back at the camp site and they all join the group countdown in anticipation for the shooting stars. Eventually, they all get the chance to catch some shooting stars and it’s a beautiful sight to behold. Ram-woo can’t help but smile while reading Hee-wan’s love letter. She used to not like her name because it was too ordinary but that all changed once Ram-woo began to take on her name. She concludes the letter by confessing her feelings for him and is curious as to how he feels about her.

But before Hee-wan can hear Ram-woo’s answer to her question, something bad happens. There’s been a gas explosion at the observatory where Ram-woo is and emergency personnel rush to the site of the incident. Hee-wan’s dad learns about the incident through the news. Meanwhile, Hee-wan, Tae-kyung, and Ram-woo all run towards the direction of the observatory but they’re blocked by police officers who prevent them from entering inside. They all scream and shout for Ram-woo but it’s too late. Ram-woo doesn’t make it.

In the present, Hee-wan and Hong-seok recount memories from that night and Hong-seok is honest on how he feels about Ram-woo’s death. He hasn’t forgotten about his good friend. How could he? Ram-woo was such a good friend to him. Hong-seok also shares that he’s preparing for the firefighter exam in hopes of becoming a firefighter. It’s a way to get used to the sounds of sirens but also because he feels motivated and inspired after what happened to Ram-woo. Although Hong-seok pretended as if he was okay, he really wasn’t. And he wished that Hee-wan had checked in on him just once to see if he was okay. And just like he did at Ram-woo’s funeral, he breaks down into tears talking to Hee-wan about Ram-woo and thinking about him. The two high school friends eventually bid farewell and go their own ways. Hee-wan confesses that she plans on living a good life and doing her own thing so she probably won’t contact him ever again (especially since she only has a few more days left to live). Hong-seok sends good wishes to Hee-wan as well. The two of them receive some form of closure after what they experienced the night of Ram-woo’s death. When Hong-seok returns to his office, he finds the board game that he used to play with Ram-woo laid out on his table. Next to it is also the poster card that Ram-woo wrote for him the day of the meteor shower event. Hong-seok breaks down into tears upon reading Ram-woo’s brief but impactful and meaningful words: I believe. Ram-woo will always believe in his best friend. And to the Ram-woo who sits across Hong-seok who Hong-seok doesn’t see, he too bids farewell with his best friend,

“Where ever you are and whatever you do, have an amazingly fun life.”

While walking back home alone, a million thoughts run in Hee-wan’s mind. What if she went with Ram-woo into the observatory? What if she hadn’t picked up the phone call for the observatory drawing? What if she had never entered into the drawing in the first place? If they had never gone on a trip, Ram-woo would have been able to join his mom for her opening party. If Hee-wan didn’t like Ram-woo or if they hadn’t become friends at all or if they had never switched names, then maybe none of this would have ever happened.

When Hee-wan is reminded of the night that Ram-woo’s mom found out that Ram-woo had died, she becomes heartbroken. The hospital had checked Ram-woo in as Hee-wan so this caused confusion to both Hee-wan’s dad and Ram-woo’s mom on who exactly got hurt. And when Ram-woo’s mom learned that it was actually her son who was impacted by the incident, she was shocked and devastated. She ended up closing her art gallery shortly afterwards.

When Hee-wan reunites with Ram-woo after they both got to say their goodbyes to Hong-seok, Hee-wan proposes that they go visit one more person: Ram-woo’s mom. It’s one of the last items on his bucket list. It’s time that they go and get it done.

My Thoughts:

My goodness, this episode was so heavy and emotionally draining for obvious reasons. But it was also so good in the way that it unfolded all the details and laid everything out to show us what happened the night of Ram-woo’s death. Narratively, this was the one moment in the drama that really needed to be strong and cohesive and impactful and it was all of those things and more. The drama is essentially centered around Ram-woo’s death so it needed to approach the situation in a way that was careful, vulnerable, intimate, and emotional. It hit all the right spots when telling this story and gave us plenty of insight on his death through the eyes of both Hee-wan and Hong-seok.

I was both sad and relieved to see Hong-seok and Hee-wan receive some closure on Ram-woo’s passing. It was obvious that they both were not okay. They lost a really good friend but they were also there at the site of the incident so there was trauma from that experience as well. I’m glad that they talked things out and were honest and raw with each other on not only what Ram-woo meant to them and how they felt about him. But also in how they impacted each other. Hee-wan was focused on herself and didn’t reach out. She isolated herself from everything and everyone else and it was only through talking with Hong-seok years later that she finally knew how he felt about the entire situation. Their farewell at the end was also heartbreaking as it was just another reminder of how Hee-wan didn’t have much time left to live. In a way, she was preparing Hong-seok for a future without her so she let him know ahead of time that he wouldn’t hear much from her.

After watching this drama a second time, I could have done without Hong-seok’s one-sided crush on Hee-wan. I think I get what the drama was going for but I would have preferred if Hong-seok never had a crush on Hee-wan at all. The drama could have still been as effective and impactful without the one-sided crush. I enjoyed the honest conversation about Ram-woo’s death between Hee-wan and Hong-seok in this episode and wished the drama kept things mutual between them the entire time. I don’t think Hong-seok’s one-sided crush on Hee-wan was needed because it already did so well in setting up and building on Hee-wan and Ram-woo’s relationship.

One thing that will always eat me up in a drama (or book) is the theme of endless possibilities and all the “what-if’s.” And the drama concluded this episode by showing Hee-wan go through all of those possibilities which killed me even more. As if I wasn’t already heartbroken enough, the drama made me go through another round of emotions. Because it is entirely true. It does make you think about what would have happened or all the things that could have happened had Hee-wan never entered the drawing or if they never went on a trip. When you lose someone close and meaningful to you so early, you can’t help but wonder if things would have turned out differently if you just didn’t do that one thing or if you made a decision differently. And the reason Hee-wan thought about all of these possibilities was because she couldn’t accept that Ram-woo was dead and because she still felt guilty for what she did. But it was also because she finally talked to someone close to Ram-woo about his death and found someone who felt the same exact way about it as she did. In another world, in another life, maybe she and Ram-woo still went to the meteor shower event and Ram-woo just never went to the observatory. Or in another world and in another life, Ram-woo and Hee-wan never crossed paths and were simply strangers.

Lastly, for such a heavy and emotional episode, I really enjoyed the way that this episode ended. Along with Hee-wan exploring all the different possibilities and endings, I loved that she proposed the idea of meeting Ram-woo’s mom. In a way, Ram-woo forcing her to meet Hong-seok when she didn’t want to was a good thing. It forced her to have an uncomfortable but honest talk with him about a topic that they both avoided but needed to talk about. And in the end, they let everything off their chest and were able to let go of the weight pressing down on them. So Hee-wan saw this experience as a good thing and felt encouraged to move on to the next person on their list: Ram-woo’s mom. If she was able to peacefully receive closure and say goodbye to Hong-seok, she could surely do the same with Ram-woo’s mom. She initially went into the whole adventure of completing Ram-woo’s bucket list with hesitation and reluctance but eventually accepted it and came out of it with some relief and happiness. The same thing could be said about Ram-woo who also got to say goodbye to his bestest friend in Hong-seok. The farewell scene in Hong-seok’s office was so emotional and bittersweet. It was so Hong-seok and Ram-woo but it was also such a beautiful and poignant way to say goodbye. They revisited their favorite hobby together which was playing board games and then also went over the post card which is the last gift that Hong-seok would ever receive from his best friend. On that post card also contained the most impactful and meaningful encouragement that would push Hong-seok to keep going in life. Grief is never easy to experience and talk about but one should never have to go through these difficult emotions and experiences alone.